Feeling quite upset from the thought that my SD card might be lost. Sigh. Pics of my growing baby’s in it. Yes, growing. My 8.67kg of pure baby. Yes she’s now twice the weight she was when she was born.

But anyhows, turning 26 had been quite a bumpy ride. It hadn’t exactly turned out good, but I’m grateful that things had been resolved and I’m surrounded by my loved ones. Oh, and my siblings gave me a PSP. Kinda ironic for me. I’m waiting for my BIG birthday prezzie in December though.

Aaliya just turned 6 months old. It’s just so surreal. My baby was just a not-so-tiny newborn a 6 months ago, and now she’s 6 months to being a year old. She’s growing up too fast!! Sigh. But I’m excited with her development nonetheless. She’s able to eat a full bowl of her instant cereal 2 times a day now. Previously when we first started out, she’d squirt out half of what is fed and she didn’t have the patience to sit and be fed and I had to end up transferring to bottle. Now though, when she sees her green bowl given by Auntie Limah a few months ago, she getw excited and goes, “Mmm.. mm…” Hehe.. This happened on the first day she finished a whole bowl.

Alhamdullilah, she’s gotten the hang of it and no more mess. Only when she drinks from her cup. Yes. Her sippy cup. As for hair, her hair’s growing slowly but surely.

And yeah, I couldn’t resist getting these Ipanemas…

My broken sandal straps was the perfect excuse to buy them. Oklah, there was no good excuse to buy Aaliya’s pair but, cute mah. Aight, off to bed. Hope my SD cards in school. Tsk.

Oh, remember my DnD?   =)

 (A Kill Bill-ish Jap assasin, 1/3 of Charlie’s Angels, A ‘Black Widow’ and Bride of Darth Vader…*lol*)

My back is so tired.

Feel like getting an elephant to trampl on it.

Dang.

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Hugh-Jackman Sexi-est Man Alive.

It’s about time anyways. Yumm-may..

GB, JA too.

And of course, MY MAN @ home. *lol*

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I’ll be having my school’s annual dinner later.

We’ll have to dress-up as our fave hero/villain. Though I have my fave heroes, it’s kinda difficult dressing up as them. Not to mention how much I’d have to spend on new stuff. So, I’ll be going as a villain. No, not Darth Maul or Venom.

I’ll be going as The-Bride-of-The-One-With-The-Breathing-Problem.

*lol*

Go figure that out.

These past few days or week has been filled with first times.

For example, today marks the last day for the first few pupils I taught when I first entered that school somewhere in AMK. When I first taught them from June of 2005, they were in P3. Taught them all through P4 & also P5. Didn’t manage to teach them in P6 due to my pregnancy, but nonetheless, I’m gonna miss them once they move on to the next chapter of their lives. They have taught me a lot throughout my time with them.

And then earlier today, my school had the annual Prize-giving. It was my first time decorating for the event. It is quite a big event but I had to work on zero budget. Alhamdullilah, everything went smoothly and none of the letters I stuck on the banner fell and hit anybody’s head during the concert. Phew!

As for Dy’s and mine first-born, these are some of her firsts:

Except for her whinings-in-between-spoonfeed, she was okay with eating. Hehe. Oklah, she doesn’t whine. More like grumble and rumble and pulling the spoon beckoning me to hurry up in scooping those baby nestum.

My dad bought this for Aaliya. It has flashing lights and outrageous music and a mirror which she’s looking at in this picture. Even babies know the meaning of vanity thses days. *lol*. I was kinda worried that the flashy lights would spoil her eyes, but since she likes looking at moving objects, it’s ok I guess. I think I’ll upload the video of her “humming” to one of the tunes. Haha. Will do when I’m free, aight?

This one had been the most fun so far. During our showers a few days back, I’ve slowly introduced her to room tempeature water and also cold water. So, when we hit the shower before getting into the pool, she kinda shivered since it was cold tap water. Then I brought her to touch the pool water from the sides. Initially, I let her feet touch the water first then slowly moved her down and down. She was about to cry but Dy & I praised and applauded her and it seemed to pacify her.

As I gradually submerged her body up to the chest level, she was literally ‘freezing’ her body, afraid to move and I could see her lips shivering. I was about to give up but to my surprise, after about 7 minutes or so, she began smiling and a few minutes later, she actually began kicking her legs, treading water and laughing and laughing! Haha. It was hilarious but such a proud moment for Dy & I. I’ve a video on this too. Will upload soon.

Meanwhile, bed’s a-calling. Nights!

Please, don’t make me do something I can’t.

Stop it.

Please.

And stop making me feel guilty about it.

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It’s a big irony, this entry and my previous one.

There I was, rambling about how I cried when my daughter fell from her pram, but on Sunday, I visited a mum who was grieving over the loss of her 3-4year old son.

The boy had been in a pitiful state when he was alive. He was mentally incapacitated, and often went into a fit or seizure. His development was quite slow, too. Even at his age, he could not sit on his own, could not move too much and to top it all up, he had breathing problems and a lot of phlegm in his lungs or something. And his eyesight wasn’t good either.

So, maybe you think he died from one of the above. No.It’s really sadder than that.

A few days back, he got admitted due to his asthma or something. I’ve seen him in hospital a few months back. The poor boy had to be tied up in case he rolled over cos’ you know, he can’t really move himself.

But apparently, on the day that he died, he was not tied. He was certified to go home.

However, he rolled over and I guess, he must’ve suffocated cos’ by the time the nurse came, he was already blue and no longer breathing.

I really is a blow to all of us. I mean, if he was to breathe his last from any of his sickness, it would prolly have been easier to let go. But the way he did, raised so much question especially that of negliegence. But I suppose, God wants him by His side. He did look really peaceful when I saw him lying on his hospital bed.

Please, say a little prayer for Adam Azahari.

Al-fateha.

Today, I wished I could have practised my shuttle run hard enough during my P.E years in Pri/Sec/JC.

I really wish I was faster.

Cos’, my Aaliya had her first fall today.

And it broke my heart a million pieces when I was just 1second away from grabbing her from falling. Really, till now, I’ve had replays of how she fell, how she screamed in pain afterwards and how hysterical I was. It was traumatic for me.

Usually, I needn’t have to buckle her up when I put her in the stroller. Since she mostly just lays down, I figured, leaving her for that 1 minute would be fine. That was my very HUGE mistake. The dummy that I was, I forgot that she has already started rolling and shifting herself from one place to another. She likes to wriggle and wriggles more now. And so, she squirmed and squirmed on the pram and started sliding down the pram. I ran as fast as I could but just when I was about to reached her, she fell. Her feet touched the ground first, then her knees and then her stomach and finally, hit her head on the cold tiled floor of my staff room.

Although there was no thud, I was already panicking like a bloody fuck idiot. I was afraid she broke her nose or hit her head too hard. I guess my heart raced faster than I ran. She was already screaming and wailing at this point. I carried her and held her so tightly in my arms. Gosh, can’t believe I’m crying again right now. Couldn’t bear to see her sobbing, tears flowing endlessly and her eyes clenched shut and face all red. But when I saw a faint bruise on the right side of her forehead, that was it. I broke down instantaneously. My sis who was with me, tried consoling me, but I was just to full of guilt, regret and sadness. It may sound crazy how distraught I was, but any mum would feel the same, what more a first-time mum like me.

Slowly, her crying subsided. She opened her eyes and I think she noticed her mum who was already sobbing and wet in the face from all that tearing. The little angel looked at her Iboo, and..

Smiled.

I was ecstatic. In between the tears, I laughed with my sis. I was relieved though it didn’t take away the regret.

I’m glad Aaliya wasn’t affected much. She still has that bruise now as I type this, but I hope it goes away soon.

And if you see me very ngiao or fussy with my kid, you know jolly well, that I have fucking learnt my lesson. As freaking cliche as it may sound, It’s better to be safe than sorry.

Aaliya, Iboo so, so, sorry, darling.