*I guess…*

By Freek at 12:36 pm on Thursday, December 6, 2007

I guess, I am not one who can give good advice.

Sometimes, I say things to make people feel comforted and get thanked, but somewhere along the road, I cross a similar problem, and I stumble and fumble to overcome it.

Like the time I tried to comfort a little girl when she was going through a rough patch earlier last year. It brought us closer and prolly became the start of mutual pouring of each others’ heart and trust to each other. A few months later, I was tossed into the same rough patch. All the words that I gave her, somehow got lost amidst it the devastation and crying. But thankfully, she shone the light my way, and I was able to see through that dark times – with the same advice I gave her. Thank you, my dear. For helping me survive that time.

Then there, of course, are my long term companions. Friends who were there for me every now and then. However, this particular jughead has been there for me since ’99. A lot of things have been divulged during these few years of friendship. She has salvaged me through some really bad shit I’ve, intentionally or not, sunk myself into. Thanks for the talk we had, babe. I’m comforted. And I love you. I love you all.

Dy. Now how can I leave Dy out of all this? The one person who I will spend the rest of my live with and prolly the only person who will get to know me inside-out, physically-emotionally-pyschologically. He has been there for me for every single thing these 7 years. Sharing good and bad times. However, sometimes though, I make things difficult for us. I mean, how difficult is it to just sit down and talk things out? How difficult is it to speak the mind? Apparently, it is hard.

It is hard when sometimes the mind refuses to reveal. Hard when there is apprehension and reservation and the fear of being judged. And sometimes, anger, embarrassment or the ego takes over. However, that shouldn’t be the case, being married and all. I’m not supposed to feel scared of telling him anything and everything. Such feelings will only cause a crack in the communication.

And for that, I’m resolute to close that gap.

Baby, hold my hand help me break this barrier. It is suffocating sometimes to not be able to let things out when I want to and it festers inside making me feel downright horrible. I guess, there’s a lot more for us to learn throughout this life. But I’m glad, you chose me to go through it, flaws and all. I love you with all of me.

For us. And the future Little One. Insya Allah.

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Comment by Linda

December 7, 2007 @ 11:07 am

Salamz syz… bloghop into ur webby… u’re preggy? how many mths? Congrats.. Moga Umi & anak sihat walafiat, I’Allah..All the best!

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